From a pre-recorded phone message for New York State voters left by the mother of Saul Farber: Hello. I know that you don't know me, but I'm the mother of Saul Farber, the 24-year-old candidate for New York's 26th state Senate district. You might not think of me as the most objective person in the world, but you have to believe me when I say that my son Saul is the only candidate who can truly take on the special interests in Albany and sweep aside the petty partisan politicking. I should know because I've raised him for 24 years and I am the only person with any real insight into what he can do for you in the State Senate.*
I can tell you from direct experience that Saul is tenacious. If that sounds like he was a difficult child, then fine, I do not mind if you make that inference. Saul is a person who will never, never let anything go. He will argue every point to the ground; even after you told him, Saul, this fight is over, he will still make sure that he has reframed the debate for you, made you want to smack yourself in the head and tear out your hair crying for it to be over. Like me, the State Senators on the other side of the aisle will surely be crying Uncle when my son gets hold of them with his contrary manner and petulant determination to have things his way at all times.
When he was four and I tried to feed Saul strained peas, he wouldn't do it. When he was five, I told him we were going to the circus, and he said that if I didn't take him to the aquarium instead, he would hold his breath until he died.
When he was eight, Saul wanted to see a Yankee game, the Statue of Liberty and Coney Island all in one day. When I tried to explain to him that these destinations were all too far apart to get to by train in one day, he insisted that I had enough money to pay for a taxi. When I said that it was far too much money, he called me cheap and jumped out of the subway.
New York, you must believe me that this is exactly the kind of relentless drive you can expect if you elect my son, Saul Farber, to the New York State Senate to represent its 26th District. I can assure you that Saul has not changed a bit from those days. Just like he did to the peas, Saul is going to throw out any special interest money, and will likely throw it all over the wall so that other people have to get down on their hands and knees to clean it up. Just as he held his breath, I'm sure he will filibuster and do whatever it takes to keep lobbyists from attaching new taxes to the state budget. Just as he called me cheap for not taking him to every last city borough to see every last tourist attraction, I know that now he will call his enemies in Albany cheap and guilt them into doing things they really just don't have the energy or capacity to do on their own.
Saul can make things happen! Even if he has to drum the life out of every last bit of the body politic, he will do it.
That's why I implore you to get my 24-year-old son out of my house and into the State house in Albany. You have to do it for the future of New York and for the future of one New York mom in particular who has gone gray raising this frustrating baby into a sapling junior lawmaker.
You must get him out of my house, New York. You must, you must, you must.
*An earlier version of this article in a couple of instances incorrectly mentioned Farber as a candidate for Assembly, though in all others, including the headline, listed him as a Senate candidate.