(Originally posted Tuesday, January 15, 2008 ) Yahoo! News is putting a preponderant amount of animal stories into its daily news mix. Could it be that there are really this many cute, fluffy pet stories that are really pertinent to us, during this, a time of war, economic crisis, political upheaval, and the threat of environmental catastrophe? Or maybe it's something more universal at work. I think it was ancient Chinese philosopher Lao tzu who first said, "You know, people love pet stories."
What are some of the big animal stories pushing murder and malfeasance off the front pages?
--*A group of three Doberman pinschers have learned to ride segways around the yard in Seattle.
--*A golden retriever named Dolph might have found WMDs in Iraq.
--*The United States has already invaded Iran using an all-dolphin force.
--*A gorilla at the San Diego Zoo has learned to say "fuck this fucking shit" in sign language.
--*A man who fed his dog McDonald's food every day for a year now has a really fat dog.
--*Minnesotans say they have found a cat who knows instinctively when human beings are about to excuse themselves to go to the bathroom, fake their orgasms, or die.
--*A boy who didn't like all the media attention his two-headed dog was getting killed it, "Of Mice and Men"-style.
--*We put a frog on a toy motorcycle and took a picture of it. Yes, that's the news.
--*Here is a really cute picture of a small variety of lemur called an "aye aye." And next up is video footage of a Madagascar woman trying to kill it with a hoe.
--*The city of Rome is infested with wild cats. Here are pictures of all the wild, wild cats.
--*Here's a picture of a baby polar bear. We say "baby" polar bear because it's cuter than calling it a cub. Doesn't matter. They're all going to die.
--*This is a picture of a bulldog with a Wisconsin cheese-head hat on it. Don't worry. The dog doesn't have any idea what "dignity" means.
--*Your Chihuahua would eat half your foot if it had a chance and look damn cute doing so. A Yahoo! investigation.